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"They're baaaaccckkkk," cried a personified logical fallacy on a Libertarian forum today, in response to media generated rumours of an imminent refugee boat arrival. The reactionary, who cunningly managed to infiltrate the libertarian scene for his own comical purposes, shocked his audience by suggesting that he was in fact, a piece of rubbish. "Yeah well this is the ass end of the garbage dump," he explained, "as you can see, my straw is now beautifully mouldy, whereas this new boatload of human refuse - well, they're barely wet behind the pustules!"
The scarecrow, who admitted to becoming rather corny over the years, was very particular about how he should be killed. "Look. I don't want to be killed, but if it has to happen it should be at the whim of a homicide bomber," he explained earnestly, "none of ya namby pamby arty farty suicide bombers for me! I'd rather feel the fragments of high-tech circuitry and depleted uranium slicing me in my final microseconds than face the guts of a suicide bomber. OK? If you've gotta kill me, at least do me the courtesy of doing it from 3000 meters in the air - or from a ship 300 miles away if you please."
Dwelling on the novelty aspect, when asked about a solution to the issue the fallacy of logic suggested, "We could get the SAS to storm the ship again - that was hugely popular. Almost as popular as Adolph Hitler. Or Ayatollah Khomeini. Or Fidel Castro. Or Ho Chi Minh."
"I mean these refos get it real good. They just get to sit around for months - it's a bloody holiday! Just went to Baxter for my Easter break. Really shoved it to those lefty poofo protesters by barging straight through their stupid picket line and into the holiday resort! Ha! I'll definately be going back there for my summer break!"
The man of straw took on a more serious approach, suggesting repatriation to the Vietnamese Socialist Paradise. "Send 'em back I reckon. There's plenty of paradise available in the offices of Deutchbank or the factories of Nike or General Electric - it's a veritable Socialist Utopia over there!"
The fallatio continued as he expressed concerns about imported SARS, in spite of the fact that it kills less than 3% of its victims and in spite of the fact that flu kills 36000 people per year in the US alone. "Hey! I'm not a serious analyst," he bantered, "I'm an entertainer." And a damn good entertainer at that, agreed the good readers and contributors of the Libertarian Forum. :)
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