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You watched a lot of ABC eh? My god... the humanity. How did you detox out of that? Shit, I grew up watching 'We Are the World' and believing chicks loved guys like Michael Jackson... but I was lucky enough to see that speaking like a girl and acting all shy and trying to heal the world was going to get me nowhere with the chicks. I was like, a toddler, when Ted Bullpit was throwing down against multi-culturalism and the looming metrosexualism that was to come among men... I admire him now, looking back, he had balls. So what I'm saying - tongue in cheek - was that Ted Bullpitt was based on a real guy, so was Norm, so was John Shaft. Because all those muthas were bad ass! Santa Claus is fake, but they aren't, I know they exist somewhere, and I won't hear any less! (And with that last bit, if John's around, insert-favourite-Jesus-follower joke here).
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