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» It's Latham!   2003-12-02 20:26 Strawman
Arm twisting works for Maddog!

Yesterday everyone was referring to Mark (Maddog) Latham as The Loaded Dog - he wanted to get close to everyone, but no-one wanted to be close to him. Today Maddog is the man - winning leadership of the ALP against Kim (Fatboy) Beasley by an overwhelming two votes! (Yup, count 'em two). Count 'em again - 'cause Fatboy sure would have.

Given the choice between the two-time-loser and an arm-breaking thug, they chose the thug. At least he came out a winner against the taxi-driver. He must have been practicing his political arm-twisting technique against the Sydney cabbie.

Fatboy's problem of course was that he was taken by surprise. Witnesses said that when he heard of the Simon time-to-go shoulder-tap late last week his face dropped - Fatboy hadn't know about it, and hadn't been working caucus for votes. Outgoing Simon supported Maddog and presumably managed to deflect the sympathy vote to him.

This was Labour's last chance to do something sensible before the coming election. Kind of like an old fashioned marriage where you had to stick with it through thick and thin, the ALP is now pretty well stuck with Maddog until after the next election. They could have just kept Maddog on a chain and let him out occasionally to savage Peter (Smirky) Costello, but political nature abhors a power vacuum, and Maddog rushed to fill it.

Maddog of course is Labour's generational change - the younger version of Paul (Scumbag) Keating, and the Gough (maintain-the-rage) Whitlam protege. Except that Maddog has the foul mouth of Scumbag Paul and none of the wit of either of them. Keating fancied himself a bit of a verbal bully. Maddog is the real thing.

This is not to say that Maddog is totally devoid of qualities. On the ABC's AM program he spoke about effective marginal tax rates.

the rate is a problem in that it adds to the disincentives for people to work. We had a report two weeks ago showing that a million Australian families have got an effective marginal tax rate of more than 60 per cent. That is, if I earn an extra $100, the Government takes 60 of them.

At least he understands the problem. His degree in economics hasn't enabled him to produce any workable solutions, but understanding the problem is a start. Whenever Fatboy was asked about tax rates he just warbled about the generosity of the Australian spirit.

And on the asylum-seeker issue? Lets just say that Carmen (open-the-borders) Lawrence is unlikely to become Minister of Immigration anytime soon.

But Maddog's biggest problem is keeping the indisciplined rabble of the ALP in check so they can put up a united front for the next election. Maddog's snarling, bullying and arm-twisting may be just what the party needs.

  • It's Latham! -- Reveli Affleck 2003-12-28