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» Sea Levels Rising Faster Than Median IQ   2002-03-31 00:00 Strawman
A Titanic Problem

Residences of PNG's Carteret Islands are worried about their Islands being washed away. Rising salt levels mean that they are unable to grow vegetables anymore.

Islanders insist that the sea levels are rising, and green groups agree.

Apparently global warming can make sea levels rise in third world countries while having no change around first world countries.

'Water is funny stuff', said a source from the green movement 'if you tilt the bath-tub, it can run uphill'. Others said he was full of it, but they weren't referring to the water.

A more likely explanation for the islander's plight can be found in their fishing practices. Dynamiting their reefs may be a cheap way to catch fish, but it isn't very environmentally friendly, and breaks up the coral reefs which stop their islands from being washed away.

'It didn't say that on the packet' protested one islander. 'Now they have to pay'. He wasn't sure who 'they' were, but knew that they must have lots of money.


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