|Twists and turns ..|
Fiction is sometimes stranger than truth. All politicians have ghosts
from the past which haunt them, and Tony (Punch-Drunk) Abattoir's has been his
adopted-out son. Many years ago, between boxing matches, Punch-drunk Tony was
mixing his seminarial experiences with a few seminal ones, and didn't bother
with protection. He and then girlfriend Kathy Donnelly adopted out their
So Punch Drunk Tony has had to wear this in his time in federal
politics,and tolerate the taunting of the ALP about hypocrisy and
irresponsibility. A difficult cross to bear, particularly with Kathy running
around and whining that Punchy's family had exerted the pressure to have the
child adopted out. A single mother forced to adopt out her newborn babe
because of the cruel manipulations of an uncaring Abattoir family? Truly a victim if anyone could
But at least the story had a happy ending when Punchy was reunited with his
long lost son. It transpired that the prodigal son had actually worked along
Punchy at parliament house, recording Punchy's morally enriching sound-bytes
to be broadcast for the enlightenment of all via the ABC. Yes, conservative Punchy's
son was an aging leftie hippy sound-recordist for that
showpiece, the ABC. Same goal, different techniques. Like father like son.
Beaming with apparent pride, Punchy announced that he was building an
(albeit belated) relationship his son Daniel after all these years, and that he
was struck by Daniel's resemblance to his eldest daughter. A chapter closed on
27 years of regret and uncertainty.
Or so we thought. In a twist which would have a scriptwriter for
soap-operas blushing about implausible plot-enabling mechanisms, it turns out
that Daniel isn't what he appeared to be. A DNA test confirmed that Punchy and
young Daniel ain't related. Presumably Kathy wasn't quite as enamored of Tony
as she made out, and in the true spirit of the '70s was sharing it
Tony wriggled and squirmed and spoke about what 'a great girl' Kathy was, and
slunk out of the spotlight.
It's hard to know whether the taunting from the ALP will stop after
this. Can you legitimately taunt someone for something they have not actually
done, but just believed they have done? Of course! All's fair in love and politics. It's only war
that has rules.
It could have been worse. Kathy could have kept the kiddie and hit Punchy
for 18 percent of his parliamentary salary for child maintenance. And at
least Daniel can now hold his head up high in the lunchroom at the ABC, knowing
he's not Tony Abattoir's son.
But in the end it's a pity that Punchy became the politician, and not the
morally bankrupt Kathy. It would test the powers of even a seasoned feminist to twist this little
deceit around to make herself the victim.