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 You Asked for It!
» Cheryl's Little Secret   2002-07-04 00:00 Strawman
Not My Fault

Rumors have hit the trashy commercial TV news that Cheryl (that's-a-terrible-thing-to-say-to-me) Kernot was doing the 'wild thing' with Gareth (I'm-going-to-head-the-UN) Evans, and that this was a key factor in her defection to the ALP in 1997.

It hurts to have to defend Cheryl, but this is sticking the knife it too far! Crass commercialism hurts people and Gareth (like Richo) is entitled to do whatever it takes to woo people away from 'the dark side' of extremist socialism to the enlightened side of socialist moderation. I mean really, is it anyone's business but Cheryl's and Gareth's? Well normally not, but lets think this through.

This would have been around the time that Gareth was seeing his dream of UN leadership collapse. His plans to set up a Stalinist-style left-wing world government under the aegis of the United Nations were collapsing, and he just wanted to take his $AU4.3M in tax-payer's superannuation and get out.

Perhaps Cheryl offered to be his 'comfort woman' during the collapse of his un-imperial empire? Or perhaps it was actually the supreme sacrifice of a true believer, and he had a few too many schooners to accomplish the task? Maybe that's why he got arrested for driving drunk in Melbourne? More bizarre conspiracies have been suggested on this site.

It also would explain the black condom that Cheryl has admitted receiving shortly after her defection, and her lack of popularity within the ALP. Cheryl, Cheryl, sleeping your way to the top is not making yourself a good role model for women wanting 'equality in the workplace', and sleeping with someone else's husband doesn't say much for female solidarity. I guess after sleeping with her ex-student, she wanted to experience the full gamit of power-plays in relationships.

Of course Gareth (shorry-mista-offisher-shir) Evans is remaining as tight lipped as a Woomera detainee protester about this one (which makes it hard kiss and tell). And Cheryl (it-never-happened) Kernot may no longer be a politician, but after a decade of being one, maybe the habit of telling half-truths is a little hard to break.

If Cheryl had been more honest and called the book 'Doing it to Myself Again', then the whole rumor could be dismissed as a media beat-off, but that might stretch the French envelope of good taste, or at least the site-editor's tolerance. Let's stop there.


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