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 You Asked for It!
» Showdown or meltdown?   2003-06-09 23:38 Strawman
The gloves are off

Well the rubber gloves are off, the knives are out of the draw in the ALP kitchen, and things are cooking up for a showdown a week from now.

In the defender's corner we have, weighing in a 96 pounds, the undefeated champion of low polls and Iraq-war casualty: Simon (Rottweiler) Crean. And in the challenger's corner we have, tipping the scales at 250 pounds, the two time loser, small-target extraordinaire and Tampa-tantrum victim: Kim (Fatboy) Beasley.

Both are skilled at using the media as weapons, and these two have been sniping at each other on long-weekend TV. Fatboy came out with:

'Simon has had eighteen months to connect with the Australian people, and it hasn't worked'

only to have Simon quip:

'Kim had six years, and he didn't connect with the Australian people - who is he to criticize me?'

Well, Simon, the simple point is that under your leadership things have gone backwards. And besides, Bob (each-way) Hawke has come out barracking for Fatboy.

Meanwhile, the Liberal leadership has made a smart move - they have warned their junior MPs not to taunt the ALP too much about their leadership. Why? Fatboy has a certain common, nonthreatening charm about him which many people like. Some voters may like the idea of having a scoutmaster as Prime Minister. Simon Rottweiler is a weaker opponent than Fatboy, and the Liberals would rather face a Rottweiler-led ALP than a Fatboy-led ALP into the next election.

Of course, no-one's saying Fatboy can actually win (except Fatboy himself), but he can slow the rot, and that's as good as the ALP can hope for, pushing a totally discredited political and economic philosophy in the 21st century. The jury is back guys - Adam Smith: 1, Karl Marx: 0.

If only the Liberal party would realize this too.


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