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| Big Kim finally takes a fall | |
Kim (Fatboy) Beazley always gave an impression of being like one of those
clowns that couldn't lie down. You know the ones - no matter how much you knock
them over, they just bounce right up, smiling and declaring victory. It took the combined weight of ALP heavies Kevin (Toothpaste) Rudd and Julia
Lizard to finally topple the ever perpetual prince of proposterous prolax. In the end, it was the weight of Beazley's past which crushed his credibility,
and his chances on either election. He spent the last two weeks insisting that
he deserved the leadership because he had more experience than anyone
else in the ALP. Apparently he thought that promotion in the ALP should be
based on seniority, not merit. Hardly surprising for a party controlled by the
union movement. It was a little hard to work out what he meant by 'experience'
though. Did he mean that he had lost two elections to John Howard and could
guarantee to do it again? Or was he referring to the 17 percent interest rates
and numerous Defence disasters he oversaw as a minister in the Hawke/Keating
government? So now the bouncing clown has been replaced by the religious former public
servant diplomat. With no apparent economic credentials. And his far leftist
offsider - the unmarried childless whining pommy immigrant with the clean
kitchen. And she's supposed to represent the women of middle Australia?
Oh dear. The people who, just three years ago, were telling us that Mark Latham was the
best person to run Australia are now telling us that these two are the best
people to run Australia. And the battleground for the next election campaign is already drawn up: Global
warming and industrial relations. Unfortunately, the more they talk about
global warming, the more votes they hand out to the Greens. And by election
time everyone will be counting the modest, but comforting pay-rises they have
received through wages growth since the introduction of the IR laws. The
children will not have starved, and the dead will still not have walked the
earth, and the IR laws will be pretty much a thing of the past. But the ALP's generational charge might still do them some good. At least they
have stopped Little Johnny from using the obvious slogan in the next election
campaign:
CAN YOU AFFORD SEVENTEEN PERCENT?
Imagine that on five million bumper stickers.
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