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Jacob, I must confess my sins. John Humphreys and I had a secret love affair for 6 months. He told me I'd find a first-edition of Nozick's "anarchy, state and utopia" in his pants. Oh how wrong I was! The Trouser Beast sprang forth from its zippered prison and overpowered me with libertarian strength and seductive quotations from Hayek. As the buggerings and fellatings continued over the months, my heart was torn in twain. For I knew I was Sinning before The Lord, but who was I to resist the enchantments of The Chicago School, recited in such silky tones? Help me, for I have sinned, and my canoe is adrift in a sea of the devils making! Save me! Save me NOW!
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