|I take full responsibility. It's not my fault.|
Every redneck knows that saying 'I was drunk' is an excuse that will get
you out of some hot spots. It won't exactly get you off Scot free, but it will
deflect some well deserved wrath from those around you. Much like 'society is
to blame', it may confuse the issue for long enough for you draw attention to
someone else's short comings.
Yours truly has used this excuse on numerous occasions. Yours truly even
used the excuse that 'she was drunk' on one occasion. [For the record,
this strategy had only limited success].
Kevin 'Pixie' Rudd wouldn't make that mistake - under pressure he'll stick
to the tried and true version. Like for instance when he is accused of
'inappropriate touching' in a New York strip club.
The Pixie does admit to going to a 'nightclub', which is a bit strange. A
'nightclub' is a bar where couples and groups go to dance, and where singles go
to pick up. The idea is not usually to get drunk, but to get a potential
partner drunk, to maximize your chances of getting lucky.
In fact, The Pixie and two mates went to a 'strip club'. For the
uninitiated - that's a place where women take money for performing
services. Exactly what services they provide is left to the reader as a
research exercise, but at the lower end of the scale, the touching only goes
one way. Just because you have paid money doesn't mean that you get to touch
them - they just touch you.
It seems that The Pixie, a mere Australian Politician, and clearly naive in
the ways of the big wide world, didn't know this, and got himself into a bit of
strife. Lefties have always been regarded as a bit 'touchie-feelie', but the
Pixie might have taken this trend a bit literally. Oops.
Nothing naive about his damage control strategy though. He admits to being
there, but claims to not remember much about it because he was drunk. Very
clever - no-one can prove he is lying, and if more damning evidence comes to
light, then the story doesn't have to change.
And to be fair, he has taken full responsibility for his actions. Of
course, he won't actually say what those actions are. Just that he takes full
responsibility for them. The Pixie's complex
relationship with 'responsibility', truth and alcohol has been noted before in this
column, but let's not get distracted.
The truly appalling thing here is not that The Pixie went to a strip
club. He said his mistake was 'going into the club', but it's not. It was the unwanted
touching. Here is a man who doesn't understand the moral difference between
paying someone to dance, and violating them through unwanted touching. The
distinction between consensual and non-consensual acts is blurred in the
collectivist left-wing mindset. If personal sovereignty does not exist, then
what's the problem helping yourself to someone else's body without their
To complete the age-old pattern, he just had to find someone else to
blame. And who better than Alex 'Gumby' Downer? It was a bit like Jimmy
Swaggart and his 'The Devil made me do it' excuse. 'It's all Alex Downer's fault' mightn't have the same memorability, but it is confusing
enough to keep the blinkers on the true believers until after the election.
And this man seems likely to be our next Prime Minister. If he does, then I
for one refuse to take responsibility for it. But I will need to drown my
sorrows. Could someone get me a drink?