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| Giant Bunny! | |
The great thing about capitalism is that idiots
get to pay the price of their own mistakes - and we all do make mistakes. Some
of our mistakes aren't really that serious - like trying to touch up the blonde
receptionist at the office Christmas party. But sometimes they really are
serious - like admitting it to the wife afterwards. Regardless, they are
generally your mistakes to make, and it's your price to pay. [And in the case
of the ex-wife, to pay and pay and pay and...] Sometimes however, other people get to pay the price for your stupid
mistakes. Like, for instance when you are the incompetent communist dictator of an
impoverished and starving nation. Admittedly this is a pretty exclusive club,
but what an extraordinary one. No, not extraordinary just due to its
exclusivity - but extraordinary because its members are generally even more
stupid than their many supporters. We have seen blatant stupidity before from communist dictators of course.
Stalin had his five year state controlled plan to prosperity, Mao had his
backyard iron smelters and his Cultural Revolution. Both caused artificial
famines which killed millions of people. Then of course there was Cuban
dictator Fidel Castro's idiot schemes like hybrid plants that would be a carrot
on the bottom and a strawberry on top. But even the idiot Castro would have to
play second-Fidel to heir-brained Kim Jong Il's latest plan to feed his
starving masses: with big bunnies!! Yes, you read right! North
Korea has tracked down an East German big bunny breeder, and purchased a
breeding group to go to North Korea. Maybe the North Korean spies, in between
importing heroin into our Land Of Plenty, have seen the Big Pineapple,
the Big Banana,
the Big Potato,
the Big Merino,
the Big Lobster and
they decided to do one better - The Big Bunny! With the added bonus that
theirs is actually edible, and the starving North Korean proletariat can eat
them! And there are lots of them too! Well .. maybe not actually quite enough. It presumably hasn't occurred to the Dear diminutive Leader that the size of the
bunny is not important - it's the ratio of feed vs weight. A bunny which grows
four times the weight of a normal bunny is a silly idea if it uses five times
as much food to grow. Guys, guys, it's about the ratio of
input and output - the volume isn't important. If you want
more volume, just grow more bunnies! Trust me, they breed like .. well
.. you know. Being Australian, we do know this, from first hand
experience. Size is important, but at the end of the day every real man knows
it's about quantity. Even a party frankfurt is okay if it parties a
lot. Maybe Dear Leader is suffering from little man's syndrome? Why do communist dictators think they so well equipped to create wealth, or
they they are the first to discover the principles of productivity? If a
million greedy capitalists with economics degrees didn't think of it already,
then why do they think it's such a good idea? Presumably because the greedy
capitalists are too busy proclaiming that 'greed is good' instead of
just branding themselves with titles like 'Dear Leader'. It seems that communist dictators have something in common with all those
petulant movie stars: they believe their own publicity. With rumors that that North Koreans are reduced to eating grass already, it
seems that the big bunnies will compete with the locals for food. Well, at
least that creates an incentive for the locals to kill them. And every
capitalist knows that the core of a successful economy is incentive. Maybe the
heir-brained dictator is coming to terms with western capitalist ideology after
all? Or maybe he's just a bunny.
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