Every left-leaning citizen likes to identify with victims - it provides the
much needed justification for putting your hands in someone else's pocket, but
that doesn't mean that they like to be seen hanging out with total losers. As
soon as it is obvious that someone simply can't win, you may as well desert the
sinking ship. And Simon (still-in-denial) Crean is being deserted by just about
For the last 18 months, the ALP has been caught between two realities:
- Kim (Fatboy) Beasley is a better leader than Simon (Mr-16-percent) Crean.
- Fatboy has no realistic chance of winning the next election.
Like a gambler who can't decide between cutting his losses or trying to win
them back, they have been thrashing around unable to choose between losers.
But now there is a plethora of candidates: Fatboy, Mark (Mad-dog) Lat ham,
Kevin (man-with-no-face) Rudd, Jenny (affirmative-action) Jacklin.
A new hope - an opportunity for generational change.
Their only problem is that they can't win the next election. There isn't time
to regroup, unless the Coalition do something particularly stupid, and John
(consummate politician) Howard at the helm this seems unlikely.
So the ALP's best strategy? Put Fatboy back at the helm for the next election
(and lose as few seats as possible), then turf him out and go for the big
reform just afterwards so there is time to regroup for a more serious challenge
in 2007. Of course a day is a long time in politics, and four years is a
political lifetime. The gamblers may get greedy.
And for Simon, well there comes a point where a stiff upper lip is just an
indulgence. Simon, this is the part where the true believers need you to put
your legs up in the air and play dead. Lie back and think of the ALP.