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 You Asked for It!
» Dog eats baby   2007-10-14 18:33 Strawman
Leaving the meat out

Those of us concerned with the future of humanity sometimes take comfort in the Darwin Awards. Darwin Awards are granted to people who, by acts of their own stupidity, prune themselves off the evolutionary tree, thereby improving the quality of the human gene pool. The ultimate sacrifice to the collective good.

While not technically qualifying, surely an honorable mention should go to the couple who fed their baby to their pet dog. On the 28th of August, the Daily Telegraph's readers were titillated by the news that a couple were watching tele as their pet Siberian Husky ate their two week old baby. Apparently the couple thought Fido was outside eating his doggie biscuits, when he was actually inside munching into something a bit more tender.

Technically these couple could have another baby, thus allowing their obviously defective genes to survive another generation, so they don't qualify for the Darwin Awards. One can only hope that responsible friends and family will discourage them from doing so. While not a great fan of state intervention, there are few stronger arguments for compulsory sterilization.

While also not a great fan of The Religion of Peace, yours truly can't help but think that these people would have done a little better attending Sheik Hilali's sermons about leaving the meat out. It seems that it's not just cats and Muslims that are unable to resist unguarded meat - it applies to dogs as well. And really really stupid people do seem to need guidance from their elites.

Astonishingly, the following day, a family member was quoted as saying there couple were 'unable to understand how or why this happened'. Guys, it's not complicated:

The. Dog. Ate. The. Baby.

Is there some part of that which is hard to understand?

Apparently so. The paper went on to report that:

Canine Association of WA president Phil Thompson said Siberian huskies were generally agreeable companions.

normally they just eat each other?

It just seems to be a one-off freak accident,

Apparently he has never heard of any previous dog attacks. He mustn't get out much.

Dogs can show possessive natures.

Yeah, I get that way around my big juicy steak too.

Siberian huskies are not that sort of dog.

All evidence to the contrary. Moron.


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