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 You Asked for It!
» We will fight them on the beaches!   2005-12-08 23:06 Strawman
Flagging a new problem

Border protection is an important issue in the minds of many Australians. But border protection is normally associated with cavity-searches at airports, and foundering asylum seekers in near Christmas Island. Not since Winston Churchill has attention about unwanted immigration been focused on the beaches.

On Sunday a gang of youths 'of middle-eastern appearance' assaulted two young life-guards on Sydney's southern beaches. The Daily Telegraph reports that the youths claimed to 'own' the beach, gone around kicking sand in people's faces, and 'accidentally' hitting other beach goers with footballs. Beach goers were outraged at the suggestion of 'ownership' of the beach - push came to shove-off, and the fists seem to have followed. This in turn was followed by a near riot on Wednesday, as 'the Lebs' and 'the Aussies' engaged in a turf-war (or at least a sand war).

This is unthinkable! What happened? This kind of thing is only supposed to happen in the impoverished western suburbs. No-go zones where the streets are ruled by middle-eastern gangs are only in areas where the proles live - it teaches the proletariat the benefits of multiculturalism by being forced to live in fear. Good, decent middle-class whites are supposed to be able to buy their way out of this kind of thing (the enlightened elites are already great fans of multiculturalism, and don't have to actually live with the outcomes of their policies understand appreciate their benefits).

No more, it seems. The problem has reached the middle-class suburbs, and now Dad has to take the wife and kids halfway to Wollongong to avoid getting sand kicked in his face.

The NSW premier Morris Iemma showed his true cultural relativistic colors by taking the middle ground, and preaching that solving problems by force was unacceptable for either side. Truly a man of principle - who stands for nothing.

So what's the solution?

Well, perhaps the claim of 'ownership' by the middle-easterners is worth considering. What about privatization of the beach? An owner could charge a fee, and would make decisions about who to allow (and who to eject), on a profit-maximizing basis. Anyone kicking sand in someone's face would be barred before you could say 'multicultural utopia'. It wouldn't even be necessary to privatize all of the Sydney beaches - just privatizing a few would give people a choice. It could even be trialled with a five or ten-year lease, after which time we could return to the status quo if the experiment failed.

So why don't the local pollies want to try this? Simply because they are afraid that it will succeed. This would be the thin edge of the wedge toward privatization of many public facilities, which would threaten the collectivist makeup of our society, not to mention the justification for the highest levels of tax in history.

Instead they will try to employ armies of police to try to control the hordes, and to try to disguise the failings of the tragedy of the commons.

As well meaning local citizens wring their hands, bleating 'Can't we all just get along?'.