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 You Asked for It!
» Bundle of Joy for Feminists   2008-09-29 19:47 Strawman
On the money!

Battling a male dominated patriarchal society is a worthy goal. And feminists everywhere put self-interest aside in other to join the good fight.

Occasionally some chauvinist might question whether shrill cries for affirmative action, and all manner of reverse discrimination, are actually selfless demands, and dare to suggest that self interest might be a factor. Sacrilege! Of course, affirmative action did wonders for middle class white women destined for a career in the public service, which by coincidence were exactly the people screaming for it the loudest. The actual minority groups seem to have been marginalized along the way somehow, but everyone has to make sacrifices for the common good, don't they?

But only the very stupid would argue that there could be any self interest in the latest Productivity Commission initiative: paid maternity leave.

The ALP has consented to this in principle, but refuses to give a deadline. Apparently there will be a lengthy pregnant pause before the scheme is consumated.

Under this scheme, private employers will be obliged to pay eighteen weeks maternity leave to women who drop a bundle. They will be eligible to be reimbursed by the government for the wages, but not the compulsory 9% superannuation.

Now, just in case anyone of subnormal intelligence is actually reading this column (we don't discriminate here, and try to cater to all intelligence levels), let's think this through:

Firstly lets take as given that employers are rich greedy capitalists growing obscenely fat sucking the blood of the hardworking proletariat who are victims of their needs. (That's why the employers have an obligation to subsidize a woman's reproductive desires. Obviously).

Now consider a greedy capitalist employer who has two applicants which seem pretty well matched. One is a young woman (the ones that are still of child bearing age, not the old wrinkly ones that have either missed their biological alarm clock, or spawned to excess already). The other is a man.

Now for the hard part: What is the employer going to do? (You have one uncomfortable pregnant pause to think of your answer). Time's up ..

If your answer was 'she will employ the woman', then go to the bottom of the class. Sorry, but you are not even smart enough to work out the root cause of the pregnancy, let alone pass Wimmin!'s Studies.

If your answer was 'she will employ the man', then you get a 'C'. You are too smart to do Wimmin!'s Studies, but not actually smart enough to succeed in business.

If your answer was 'she will factor in the risks of employing the woman, and offer her less money to compensate' then well done. You are thinking like a businesswoman! Very soon you too will be growing obscenely fat sucking the blood of the hard working proletariat!

Yes, it's good to see the Wimmin!'s movement finally able to demonstrate their credibility, by pushing through a regulation which will quite obviously work against women's interests.

Of course, the cynical reader might observe that it will work in the interests of the old boilers - the ones past child bearing age, and focused on their career. Those women increasingly concerned about the competition which is younger, more energetic, and more likely to have qualifications in something other than Wimmin!'s Studies.

Of course not. Their credibility is intact - it just has a few stretch marks.


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