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| Anticlimax in intended orgy of blood | |
The connection between impotence and suicide bombers has been observed before
in this column, and the second wave of London bombings are a case in point. Four suicide bomber wannabes were all ready for earthly departures and pressed
their triggers. Expecting to be hoist by their own petards, they
said their Allah Akbars, assumed the position ready to receive their
72 Virgins and ... poof! The detonators failed to set off the primary
charges. Every leftie knows
that the key to compassion, understanding and world peace is to put yourself in
someone else's position and see things from their point of view. So what goes
through the mind of the Islamic psychopath as their suicide bomb fails? Well that was easy. Hang on. I seem to be at the same
place. Where are my 72 virgins? Maybe that's one there across the isle. She's
bloody ugly. Nope these are the same dreary London commuters who were here
before - only they look a bit angrier now. Damn. My bomb didn't go off, and now
everyone is looking at me. Why didn't the bomb go off? Am I the victim of some
weird practical joke? Did I just blow up 3 kilos of child's plasticine? Never
mind I'll have to go to plan-B. Umm .. so what is plan-B? I must have missed
that day in terrorism school. These commuters look pretty angry, I think I'd
better run away before they .. you know .. hurt me. Then I guess you leg it as angry fellow commuters form an instant lynching
squad. Clearly these guys must have been the B-team. The photocopies who were not
quite as sharp as the originals. The guys who used the cheap Asian imports
instead of the real thing. The laughing stock of the alma mater. The elevator
doesn't go all the way to the top. A few deaths short of a jihad. Nice
try. 10/10 for effort, 0/10 for success. No banana (and no virgins). Back to
Terrorism A01 for you psychos: How Not to Make a Complete Goose of Yourself on
Public Transport. At least the English police are doing their part - demonstrating their
enthusiasm for keeping the subways safe by shooting people on trains,
presumably a source of great comfort for Londoners. The shooting of a man for
refusing to obey police instructions may stop short of being a public
execution, but it was pretty decisive - he fled onto a train wearing a bulky
coat, and they thought he might be carrying a bomb. Carrying even small amounts
of lead can slow you down quite a lot, and five bullets worth kind of did the
trick in his case. Wearing a big bulky coat in the middle of summer didn't do
him much good - but the event gave everyone else a warm inner glow.
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