 |
| Explosive undies - silent but deadly! | |
Normally exploding undies are the butt of people's humor. The merest whiff of
an undies joke is enough to make the bottom feeders of the sophistication
hierarchy chortle with delight. And make The Elites sniff with disdain. But there is nothing funny about this particular set of exploding undies
because they were being worn by a member of one of the Religion of Peace (a
group not known for their lighthearted humourous nature). An angry little psychopath named Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab thought that
exploding vests were just .. like .. sooo 2002, exploding shoes were just sooo
2001 and exploding backpacks were just sooo 2004. He decided to get down and
personal with his suicidal obsession and blow up the
airplane he was on by lighting up his undies. Farouk returned to his seat after an extended visit to the toilet, then
passengers heard 'popping noises and smelled a foul odour'. But it's not what you think. This wasn't the normal lighting up of the undies that drunken cowboys get into
sitting around a camp fire after a few too many beans in a B-rate movie.
Young Farouk put something more potent in his undies than the Good Lord
provided. Apparently Allah provided him with undies made of pentaerythritol -
an explosive related to nitroglycerine. Unfortunately for Farouk, who was clearly unexperienced in such matters and
probably hasn't even seen Blazing Saddles, he
suceeded only in causing severe burns on his bum before some of the other
passengers tackled him to the floor. Farouk's family warned authorities that he could be dangerous, but he didn't show up
on a 'search this guy's undies' alert.
And the Americans are now
talking about a whole lot more security measures, including not letting people do potty in the last hour of flight, keeping their hands in plain sight, and having
nothing on their laps. Are they going to let them cross their legs? The government has to be seen to be doing something - anything. Except that
actually doing the sensible thing and and stopping ratbags entering the country
is just too politically incorrect. Besides, why just stop a few ratbags when
this can be used as a justification to control everyone's life? A capitalist
knows that every problem is an opportunity. A politician knows every disaster
is an also opportunity - to create bigger more powerful government. Looks like everyone's going to be on the undie search alert. What a pain in the arse.
| 
