 |
| Former heavyweight about to lose a few pounds | |
The Australian
Democrats are not known for clear, sober reasoning at the best of times,
and former party leader Andrew ('listen here, bitch!')
Bartlett is a case in point. He hasn't made a sober decision for some
time, and sitting on electoral death-row doesn't seem to have focused his mind.
Your ABC
reports that he has now said he will remain on a hunger strike as long
as detainees at the Baxter detention center in South Australia's north do. He says he will drink water but not eat. Bartlett is well known for
enjoying liquid lunches, so that shouldn't be too hard. But just water? C'mon
Andrew - it's Christmas! What about a few of those bottles of red you
'liberated' from the Coalition Christmas party? It'll take your mind right off
those hunger pains! Regardless, this attempt to wallow in self hatred is likely to end in
tears. This can only go in three ways.
- The asylum seekers call off their hunger strike.
- Bartlett breaks his word - and his fast.
- Bartlett admits what the rest of us have known all along - that
asylum-seekers are like dieting fat chicks - they cheat.
Asylum seekers are well known for their hunger striking strategies - taking
turns in skipping meals, or going on hunger strike up to three times a day -
just after breakfast, lunch and dinner, then reverting to instinct like one of
Pavlov's dogs as soon as they hear the food bell. Andrew, it seems, is also pretty pissed at the government's treatment of
celebrity asylum seekers the Bakhtiyaris. The Bakhtiyaris are the Pakistani
family who, after being caught out lying about being from Afghanistan two years
ago, are still living at the Australian taxpayer's expense. It looks as through
Amanda (Killer Whale) Vanstone has finally grown the balls to throw them out. Maybe the Democrats could stitch their lips together to show even greater
support for the refugees? Maybe the women could mutilate their own
genitals to demonstrate solidarity with the Religion of Peace? Natasha
(king of the kids)
Stott Despoja has already posed with a head scarf to show solidarity with
Muslims - why stop there? On the other hand maybe Andrew should spend some time budgeting for when he will have to live on his parliamentary pension. If Cheryl
(I'm the victim) Kernot is any indication, employers are not exactly
lining up to employ ex-Democrat leaders, and unlike Natasha, Andrew is unlikely
to be able marry a rich sugar daddy and start popping out babies for him. You might have to start buying by the cask, Andrew. Sobering times indeed.
| 
