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| An important message from our sponsor .. | |
One of the rewarding things about running a blog is the Lefty hate-mail that trickles
through the series of
tubes comprising the internet and end up in the
InBox. The feeling that somewhere, somehow, a whining, bleeding-heart Lefty is
annoyed at you is a bit like taking a good dump: a sort of satisfied, contented
feeling that something good (however small and insignificant on a global scale)
has been achieved. The Lefties call it 'thinking globally and acting
locally'. These little morsels of hate are normally flushed from the InBox in a
single satisfying button press. Occasionally though, a real gem arrives, and just
has to be reproduced on the site in its full, unedited, (and un-corrected)
glory:
Subject: A request on behave of the Australian Youth
From: Richard Broz to strawmanDear Uncultured, Uncouth and Uneducated Author,
I find your fictional writings entertaining if not a little desturbing. Do you
actually believe in what you are saying because if you do I pity your insight
into what you so blatantly refer to our history and cuture(lifestyle).As for
the fact that the poor should put aside buying other things and get food does
that include their rent, landline rent for their telephone, water usage rates,
clothing and education for their children if little or nothing is left after
these are paid is it still considered child abuse or true poverty. As yes many
families in Australia are faced with these choices everyday.
Now as disturbing as your rantings are the most disturbing thing is the way
I came across your site It was brought to my attention by a concerned parent at
a local high school who brought in a copy of your so called report on
Aboriginal history in Australia.A teacher has printed it up and wants an
assignment done on it now I find this very diturbing as children in schools are
taught very little about Australian History as it is and your simplified
ignorant view could easily sway children toward racism and violents against
others. That is a very scary thought you have every right to your opinions and
I wouldn't have read or taken any notice of your banter but now there are
people in very influencual roles using your writings to influence very
impressionable minds and that is a scary thought may on your page you could say
that this is you opinion only and not nesessarily fact. Sincerely Rae Carnes
It's pretty clear from this letter what a great job our professional
educators are doing in preparing the youth for the real world. I was going to suggest that the writer actually learn the Queen's English before labeling others as
'uneducated', but then I realized that s/he wouldn't actually get the joke
(read the subject line carefully). I will just have to contend with saying that there are few things more
flattering than having the juggernaut of State education using their
immense tax funded-resources to
try to defeat you. I look forward to publishing (and grading) the essays on this site. It will
be interesting to compare the teacher's marks and mine. In the meantime -
maintain the rage Bro'.
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| The Bruiser | |
This column has always taken an interest in certain colorful characters and few
could be more colorful than Geoff (The Bruiser) Clark. Note that's
colorful and not colored. This article could be branded
racist for actually pointing out the color of one's skin, so we will
just note that The Bruiser's skin is a lighter shade than the average
Australian, and so is his hair - apparently an excellent qualification for being
the spokesman for the Aboriginal people. Not such an excellent qualification though are accusations about his slightly
darker past, in which he has said to have led several rape gangs against
Warrnambool woman Carol Stingel some 36 years ago. And a jury has agreed, and
awarded $AU20K against him. Ouch! $20K has got to Stingelittlebit, but not that much for the ever-sneering
Clark, who was paid over $200K per year (at the taxpayer's expense) until he
was stood down from the ATSIC chair several years ago. Nonetheless, the court's decision does raise some slightly uncomfortable
issues. It's not like there was much evidence after 36 years, and it really
came down to he said / she said. More like a sordid divorce than a rape trial. Ms Stingel's lawyers claimed that 'no sane person would put themselves
through what she has if they were lying.' Well, who knows? She may have
been expecting more than $20K. Afterwards they were saying that $100K would
have been more appropriate. Would a sane person do the same for $100K? Maybe.
Beats working. It even beats pretending to work and hanging around the
dole office waiting for the government to give you money. Actually you can do
both at the same time .. The lawyers also said that she had consistently made these claims for a very
long time. True. But 4532 repetitions do not make a truth. Except in politics
of course. Does any one else here feel concerned that someone you pissed of 36 years ago
can make an accusation of rape and force you to pay them $20K? Is there anyone in
your past who is that greedy, or that vengeful? Ex girlfriend? Jilted lover?
Promoted over some woman's head perhaps? Cut some chick off in traffic? Argue with
a feminist over a queue at a bus stop? Feeling uncomfortable? Particularly when Ms Stingel talked about the 'feeling of power' when the
decision went in her favor. Yes, rape is about power. But so is revenge.
And so is out-and-out malice. But maybe any discomfort should be short lived. That kind of thing only happens
to the proletariat n places like Warrnambool - not in the comfortable places
that the intelligentsia like us live. And besides, the $20K was just money
stolen from the taxpayer. Whether any real justice was done here or not is hard to say, but but there was
certainly poetic justice. And the Bruiser's ego took a battering. Geoff, is that a sneer on your face or
are just just unhappy so see anybody?
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| Too Small | |
Multiculturalism
is finally dead. It died last week as Little Johnny reshuffled his ministries,
and finally rolled Amanda (The Killer Whale) Vanstone out of her Immigration
portfolio (and presumably back into the water). He used the opportunity to
remove Multiculturalism from the portfolio title, replacing it with
Citizenship. Little Johnny's good with dead wood. He eased out the incompetent (okay,
stupid) Bronwyn Bishop some time ago, and now it was the fiery, arrogant and
confrontational Amanda Vanstone's turn. She just alienated too many people in
her job. But it seems that The Killer Whale has been rolled back into the ocean in
preparation for an overseas posting - a diplomatic position. She is busy
denying it of course, but playing the 'well if were offered.. ' card. How could Little Johnny possibly think of putting The Killer Whale up for
negotiations with a foreign government? Isn't the point of diplomacy to smooth things
over? Diplomacy is, of course the art of negotiating under threat of force, and the aim is to achieve
your goals without using force. Any foreign official sitting opposite The
Killer Whale would be declaring war against Australia within the hour. What was
Little Johnny thinking? Well, in this case Amanda is tipped to be posted to Paris. Sacre
Bleu! She will have the French strutting up and down and impotently
declaring war all into their croissants and bidets. Say what you like about Little Johnny living in the past - at least he really
does have a good old fashioned Australian sense of humor.
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| Flagging the defeat of patriotism | |
For many years, The
Left in this country (and other countries with a large self hating
population) have been trying to discredit the cause of patriotism. Champions of
the politically
correcte would duck and weave between the principles of Cultural Relativism
(no idea is any better than any other) and National Shame (something to do with
saving Aboriginal
children from their alcoholic parents). In summary they would demonstrate
both that our culture
couldn't be any better than any other and that it was provably worse than
most. Quad erat demostrandum. Fortunately most stupid ideas die eventually. Belief in a flat earth died in 1492 when Columbus discovered a whole new
continent for the Spanish to loot and enslave. Quaint beliefs about planets
sitting on the backs of giant turtles were no match for opportunities to
enslave and steal. Feminism died the day
that a gaggle of feminazis threw bloody tampons at John Howard over protests at
the GST (apparently tampons
should have been GST free). Of all the supposed repressions and brutal
violations committed against women throughout the ages, the
most serious violation in the current age was that they had to pay a 10% GST on
tampons. Please. The tampon throwers found themselves on a slippery slope and
were thrust into obscurity as mainstream Australia turned their backs on them
in favor of a new ideology. Multiculturalism died
last week as Little Johnny rolled Amanda (The Killer Whale) Vanstone back into
the water, and removed the word 'Multiculturalism' from the portfolio title,
replacing it with citizenship. Occasionally the uglies of yesteryear (like Eva Cox) pop up and scream on
the ABC, but they are bit like the Phil (The Philcher) Adams - even the ABC just regard them as nostalgia
from a more leftist bygone era. Political correctness was thought do have died a stinky death in the rubble
of the World Trade Center in September of 2001, but
rumors of it's death may have been greatly exaggerated in the fog of the War on
Terror. Organizers of the Big Day Out (an annual event held on Australia Day where
teenagers turn out in their thousands to get crushed to death in a big
Mosh Pit while being deafened by a wall of noise emanating from a bunch of
drug-taking misfits on a nearby stage) attempted to ban the Australian
flag from the event. Yes, they branded the Australia flag as being 'Gang Colors' and announced
that they would refuse anyone entry who dared to wear the red white and blue. The politically correct lobby have had some setbacks over recent years, but
they looked set to achieve what twenty years ago they could not have even
dreamed of: banning the Australian flag on the Australia day long weekend. Congratulations guys - that achievement would have to be worthy of a public
holiday. However it was not to be. Event organizers backed down over the media
frenzy, and insisted that they never banned the flag at all, just 'discouraged'
the use of large flags. Right. And The Pope is Jewish. In the end, the flags
flew at the Big Day Out. It's hard to know whether the Lebanese were offended
by this, but in the end no-one really cared. They were too busy celebrating the
death of political correctness. As usual, the most interesting thing in this little circus was watching
which way the politicians and media figures jumped. Little Johnny, of course
staunchly defends any use the flag, but KRudd called it 'political
correctness gone mad'. Funny - he leads the party that championed
political correctness in the '80s and '90s. Even Lebanese apologist Keysar Trad
saw the writing on the wailing wall and criticized the promoter's decision. Oddly there were even calls to ban banning of the flag! Whatever your
opinion of the event organizers who originally tried to ban the flag, it was a
private event, and it was their right to do so. They can make whatever dress
standards they want to, provided they make them clear when they sell the
tickets. Should the government dictate dress standards at private functions? Who
should set the dress standards in your place of business? Your home? Your
bedroom? Once again the collectivists used the circus to try to wedge the government between you and
your private property. The Telescreen will be installed in your bedroom soon. Big brother is watching
you - undress.
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| Annoyed of Blundstone's Vaile of secrecy | |
Some of us don't like the concept of big government controlling our lives and
taking our money. Some of us think that we would be better off with a smaller,
less powerful government, and taking on more responsibility ourselves. That's
why many of us choose to vote for a political party (or at least a coalition)
who has 'small government' as one if it's principles. Alas, the time of principles in politics seems to be long past. We have a
conservative ('small government') party in power, growing the size of
government every year, while the opposition continually screams for bigger
government. And every now and then one gets an insight into the the real
mindset of supposedly 'small government' politicians. Your ABC reports that:
Acting Prime Minister Mark Vaile has criticized Tasmanian footwear manufacturer
Blundstone for failing to alert the Government ahead of its decision to
relocate to Asia.
Why would a private company have a greater obligation to tell the
government of its plans than the workers themselves? What moral,
legal or pragmatic principle would make a company obliged to tell the
government that it was about to lay off the workers before telling the
people who are actually about to lose their jobs? After all, it will be the workers who will be doing some serious household
budgeting while seeking gainful employment elsewhere. Why does Mark Vaile think that they should have told him first? Because
he could have prepared a position on it. He could have put some spin on it
and not be caught unawares. Because ultimately he thinks that his right to
political spin overrides any rights that people have to know about the future
of their own jobs. After all, they are only the proletariat. He is the government. You don't have to look very far to find crypto-socialism in the ranks of the
Coalition.
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| Giant Bunny! | |
The great thing about capitalism is that idiots
get to pay the price of their own mistakes - and we all do make mistakes. Some
of our mistakes aren't really that serious - like trying to touch up the blonde
receptionist at the office Christmas party. But sometimes they really are
serious - like admitting it to the wife afterwards. Regardless, they are
generally your mistakes to make, and it's your price to pay. [And in the case
of the ex-wife, to pay and pay and pay and...] Sometimes however, other people get to pay the price for your stupid
mistakes. Like, for instance when you are the incompetent communist dictator of an
impoverished and starving nation. Admittedly this is a pretty exclusive club,
but what an extraordinary one. No, not extraordinary just due to its
exclusivity - but extraordinary because its members are generally even more
stupid than their many supporters. We have seen blatant stupidity before from communist dictators of course.
Stalin had his five year state controlled plan to prosperity, Mao had his
backyard iron smelters and his Cultural Revolution. Both caused artificial
famines which killed millions of people. Then of course there was Cuban
dictator Fidel Castro's idiot schemes like hybrid plants that would be a carrot
on the bottom and a strawberry on top. But even the idiot Castro would have to
play second-Fidel to heir-brained Kim Jong Il's latest plan to feed his
starving masses: with big bunnies!! Yes, you read right! North
Korea has tracked down an East German big bunny breeder, and purchased a
breeding group to go to North Korea. Maybe the North Korean spies, in between
importing heroin into our Land Of Plenty, have seen the Big Pineapple,
the Big Banana,
the Big Potato,
the Big Merino,
the Big Lobster and
they decided to do one better - The Big Bunny! With the added bonus that
theirs is actually edible, and the starving North Korean proletariat can eat
them! And there are lots of them too! Well .. maybe not actually quite enough. It presumably hasn't occurred to the Dear diminutive Leader that the size of the
bunny is not important - it's the ratio of feed vs weight. A bunny which grows
four times the weight of a normal bunny is a silly idea if it uses five times
as much food to grow. Guys, guys, it's about the ratio of
input and output - the volume isn't important. If you want
more volume, just grow more bunnies! Trust me, they breed like .. well
.. you know. Being Australian, we do know this, from first hand
experience. Size is important, but at the end of the day every real man knows
it's about quantity. Even a party frankfurt is okay if it parties a
lot. Maybe Dear Leader is suffering from little man's syndrome? Why do communist dictators think they so well equipped to create wealth, or
they they are the first to discover the principles of productivity? If a
million greedy capitalists with economics degrees didn't think of it already,
then why do they think it's such a good idea? Presumably because the greedy
capitalists are too busy proclaiming that 'greed is good' instead of
just branding themselves with titles like 'Dear Leader'. It seems that communist dictators have something in common with all those
petulant movie stars: they believe their own publicity. With rumors that that North Koreans are reduced to eating grass already, it
seems that the big bunnies will compete with the locals for food. Well, at
least that creates an incentive for the locals to kill them. And every
capitalist knows that the core of a successful economy is incentive. Maybe the
heir-brained dictator is coming to terms with western capitalist ideology after
all? Or maybe he's just a bunny.
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| Big Kim finally takes a fall | |
Kim (Fatboy) Beazley always gave an impression of being like one of those
clowns that couldn't lie down. You know the ones - no matter how much you knock
them over, they just bounce right up, smiling and declaring victory. It took the combined weight of ALP heavies Kevin (Toothpaste) Rudd and Julia
Lizard to finally topple the ever perpetual prince of proposterous prolax. In the end, it was the weight of Beazley's past which crushed his credibility,
and his chances on either election. He spent the last two weeks insisting that
he deserved the leadership because he had more experience than anyone
else in the ALP. Apparently he thought that promotion in the ALP should be
based on seniority, not merit. Hardly surprising for a party controlled by the
union movement. It was a little hard to work out what he meant by 'experience'
though. Did he mean that he had lost two elections to John Howard and could
guarantee to do it again? Or was he referring to the 17 percent interest rates
and numerous Defence disasters he oversaw as a minister in the Hawke/Keating
government? So now the bouncing clown has been replaced by the religious former public
servant diplomat. With no apparent economic credentials. And his far leftist
offsider - the unmarried childless whining pommy immigrant with the clean
kitchen. And she's supposed to represent the women of middle Australia?
Oh dear. The people who, just three years ago, were telling us that Mark Latham was the
best person to run Australia are now telling us that these two are the best
people to run Australia. And the battleground for the next election campaign is already drawn up: Global
warming and industrial relations. Unfortunately, the more they talk about
global warming, the more votes they hand out to the Greens. And by election
time everyone will be counting the modest, but comforting pay-rises they have
received through wages growth since the introduction of the IR laws. The
children will not have starved, and the dead will still not have walked the
earth, and the IR laws will be pretty much a thing of the past. But the ALP's generational charge might still do them some good. At least they
have stopped Little Johnny from using the obvious slogan in the next election
campaign:
CAN YOU AFFORD SEVENTEEN PERCENT?
Imagine that on five million bumper stickers.
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| What's yellow and doesn't Wiggle? | |
For those us with small children, The Wiggles are the bane of our existence.
One would think that we would be grateful for the invention of the automated
baby sitter. A mere $3500.00 will get you a glorious high definition LCD
variety, which the children will sit in front of, mesmerized, and hopefully
only annoy Daddy when the DVD needs changing. Well, not quite. The endless demand for more DVDs, and merchandising would be
tolerable (anything to shut them up for another 45 minutes). The soul
destroying thing about the automated baby sitter is the noise that it makes. If
you thought that having to listen to 'are we there yet' every 15
seconds on the holiday road trip was bad, you simply haven't experienced real
pain. Try listening to 'Riding in the Big Red Car' 500 times in a row. Follow that
with 'Dorothy the Dinosaur', 'Wags the Dog', and that awful song about the
teddy bear a few hundred more, and it will permanently affect you. You will
develop a pathological hatred of the colors red, yellow, blue and purple. At least the purple Wiggle spends most of his time sleeping. I mean, it's not
like a token Asian appointed in the age of affirmative action should have to
pull their weight or anything. Actually that's unfair. The Wiggles insist that
Jeff was actually asked to join the band because he was the only one who owned
a music sequencer. Sort of like the guy who got to join the band because he
owned a truck .. Of course it doesn't matter now because they are all filthy rich. I know this
because I'm their biggest contributor. But all tediously repetitive things come to an end eventually. Yellow Wiggle, Greg,
has decided to hang up his skivvy and call it a day due to a mysterious
illness. He has been diagnosed with 'orthostatic
intolerance'. He couldn't be any more intolerant than me. Apparently this causes fatigue, balance problems and blackouts. Yup - that's
pretty much how I feel when I have to listen the Wiggles. Except the blackouts. That part's just wishful thinking.
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| .. just don't provoke them! | |
Sometimes people get themselves into arguments which are unwinnable. Like when
someone says to you: 'you always have to have the last word, don't you'. Any protest to the contrary
proves their point, and while silence demonstrates just the opposite - that it
is really the speaker who has to have the last word, this invariably gets lost
in the background noise, and the situation is unwinnable. Likewise 'you are an incredibly argumentative person - the fact that
you are still arguing with me proves that', has the same effect. On the other hand 'I don't want to argue about this anymore' is easier
to counter - 'well, don't then'. Sometimes however the solution is quite easy. And involves no response at
all. It's pretty easy to make a fool of someone who says 'you are such a
violent person that you are about to hit me'. You just have to smile, and
say nothing, or simply say 'no I'm not'. So you would think that the followers of the Religion of Peace would have
responded in a similar manner when the Pope quoted some long dead Pope about
Muslims being violent. Sadly, this wasn't to be. Some Muslims were so outraged by the suggestion that
they were violent, that they went out and committed acts of violence. Including
the murder of an Italian nun. And the argument has reached shores of Australia. Now Cardinal Pell has
come out defending his man in the Vatican, by pointing out the obvious - that
subsequent events kind of justified the original statement. So now the Mufti,
Sheik Hilaly has challenged Pell to a debate. Hilaly can't even
speak English! No problem says apologist Keysar Trad. He can be given written questions in
advance and prepare answers. Huh? Isn't a debate where you .. like .. engage
with each other? Hilaly just wants to increase his status by sharing a stage with someone
more important than he is, and to get an opportunity to preach. It's all about
exposure. More rational Muslims, like Muslim Community Reference Group chair, Ameer
Ali, have taken a different tack. Ali is calling for 'and end to the war of
words'. He would like to quietly bury the debate and move onto helping himself
to the 31 million dollar slush fund Little Johnny is setting up to raise
awareness of Islam in Australia. This has got to be a good thing. There are many of us who seek to raise
awareness of Islam in Australia. You might say that we are on a Crusade for the Truth.
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| Oh no, not again | |
Some readers may be laboring under the misapprehension that yours truly is
insensitive to the threat posed by global warming, so it seems appropriate to
disabuse them of it. As someone with aging parents who own a valuable holiday property some 4 feet
above sea level, I can assure everyone that I am very concerned about the
possible effects of rising sea levels. So concerned in fact, that I felt the need to spend the weekend monitoring the
situation first hand, from the private jetty in the back yard. I did take time out though to catch the news, and was distressed to learn that
Tuvalu is already under water! Carefully edited shots on the leftist media show
waves crashing over the .. um .. well .. over the beach, and depict children
happily splashing in the water! The horror, the horror! The news cast assumed, not only that the earth was warming, but that the oceans
had already risen! Tuvalu was being swamped! They must have gotten their facts from the Earth Policy
Institute, who reports that
As sea level has
risen, Tuvalu has experienced lowland flooding.
Huh? Sea level rise in ocean monitoring centers in the first world have not
even been objectively measurable, but Tuvalu is already under water? Clearly some more experiments in the bath-tub are required. The fact is that the Tuvaluans have blasted away much of their coral reefs to
dynamite fish (a practice banned in most parts of the world), and have
excavated sand for building materials. This has greatly reduced the natural
protection from storms. And a rapidly increasing population has put further strains on the production
of food. Unlike the credibility of the Left, it seems that Tuvalu is
not sinking at all. Of this doesn't mean that it won't, just that it hasn't yet. This is clearly a
situation which requires careful study. I for one intend to spend more time
studying it. It can be monitored closely from the family coastal property. Maybe I could get a government grant?
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>> Please Sir, I want some more
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- ANON -- Anonymous Coward 2011-12-02
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