Your sacred cow is in mortal danger Provoking the herd since 2002 

home

 Let's talk about ..
Be Offended - Be Very Offended Shoot the cow! Shoot the cow!  

S-e-x
Religion
Politics





 You Asked for It!
» George Asks Koffe's Advice   2002-05-04 00:00 Strawman
It goes where?

Dear Koffe,

Thanks for all your help and encouragement since last September when someone broke in and trashed our place!

We were pretty cut - especially when we found out that it was Osama! We went around to sort the situation out, but we found out that Osama is a guest in Omar's house. We demanded to see Osama, but Omar refused. We knew that it was not actually Omar's house anyway, because it was stolen, and the rightful occupants were being horribly abused.

So we got together with old Tony, little Gilles and even little Johnny came along to provide encouragement. Together we kicked the living daylights out of Osama (though he is a slippery character), and forced Omar out (as best they could anyway). It was a good opportunity to practice some of those new Kung Fu moves. Then we gave house back to its rightful owners (as best we could anyway, because the situation was a bit confused).

We're getting really sick of people stealing houses. The whole street's looking like a slum. So now we're looking around at other people who have stolen their houses.

Big Zemin is a bit of an pain but none of us want to pick a fight with him, and he keeps pretty much to himself - except that when my kid's toy airplane flew into his back yard by accident he did make a bit of fuss. He didn't have to cut it up before throwing it back over the fence.

We are also concerned about Kim, Ali and Saddam.

Saddam has been a really big pain in the ass. He's been building stink bombs in his back yard again, too. We tried to sort the situation out a few years back, but he just ran back into his house and poked his tongue out at us from the window. We didn't want to go inside, so we just broke some of his toys, and told him not to throw things in his neighbor's yard.

Unfortunately that whole area of the street is a mess at the moment. Yasser and Ariel can't agree on where to build their adjoining back fence, and they have been kicking dirt in each other's faces. To top it all off Ariel has been building sand castles in Yasser's back yard, and Yasser is getting really pissed.

We'd rather not go in there until things calm down a bit.

Everyone is behaving like children! Can you offer us any advice?

Sincerely,

George.

PS: We still owe you for the jam and tarts from the last barbecue. We'll settle up real soon.


 Submit Your Own Comments