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    » Theophanous Goes Down   2002-05-23 00:00 Strawman
    On top of corruption!

    Andrew Theopanous, long time Labour serving Minister and obsessed pro-immigration activist went down for 3.5 years jail.

    Not only was he taking bribes in the form of money, he was attempting to take payment in the form of sexual favors from an Asian woman ('if she was good looking enough').

    This is the same man who continually rallied for the rights of immigrants, and who took the moral high ground on any issue to do with immigration. He wanted more immigration - presumably no amount of immigration would have been enough. Understandable when more immigrants means more opportunity to take bribes from them, and to use them for sex.

    This is the man who painted the immigrants as poor desperate and needing 'special treatment'. Clearly he thought they were desperate. Desperate enough to agree to give sex in return for visas.

    He was also instrumental in the controversial decision to bring some 20,000 'Bob Hawke Specials' into the country after the Tienanmen Square massacre in 1989.

    It is time to seriously question Australia's immigration policies. While the fact that Theopanous is just a common criminal is not in itself enough to dismiss the views he held, it is enough to look very seriously at those views, and question our policy frameworks. Much of our immigration policy framework, including much of our refugee program was set up under the control of this criminal. It would be criminal to merely accept the current levels as appropriate without further questioning.

    Meantime Theopanous may be doing a little questioning of his own in his prison cell. His wife might be questioning why she is still with him too, and planning her own escape.

    » Multicultural Tolerance Takes On New Meaning For Asylum Seekers   2002-05-20 00:00 Strawman
    Stage Dive!

    The BBC 2002-05-20 Reports that Amnesty International claims religious tensions between detainees in Australian detention centers are leading to persecution and physical assault.

    Not content to leave their old wars at home, the Christians, Mandeans, Tamils, Hindus and Islamists are sniping at each other. Christian converts in particular are facing threats and violence from Islamists, being labeled 'infidels'.

    Of course this is all part of the game-plan of the Howard government. Putting all these groups together is a clear demonstration of their unwillingness to integrate or even to tolerate other cultures or religions.

    As more and more Australians see the violence these people initiate against others, the less and less inclined they are to let them stay. The thought of having this kind of violence perpetrated in one's town or suburb makes the average Australian nervy. The thought of having the violence perpetrated against them or their families is a deciding factor.

    While the ALP waffle on about finding a middle ground between compassion and pragmatics, the Liberal Party are pursuing their policy of border control.

    The average Australian, having gotten over the excitment of seeing the SAS actually used for something when they boarded the Tampa, is now just settling back in their lounge-chairs and waiting for the political machine to run its course.

    » Lifesavers and Responsibility   2002-05-19 00:00 Strawman
    Stupidity between the flags

    Some time ago, a man of sub-normal intelligence swimming at Bondi Beach became a paraplegic after diving into a sand-bar. He sued the Bondi Council because he was swimming between the life-saving flags.

    Most of us regard life-saving flags as an indication that

    • There are no particularly dangerous rips in between the flags
    • There may be a life-saver on duty who will
      • assist someone he believes in danger.
      • keep an eye out for sharks, and warn people if he sees one.

    Apparently be believed that the flags were a guarantee of invulnerability. There was a sand bar between the flags, and he felt that the flags should not have been erected on either side of something as dangerous as a sand-bar.

    Like, hello, wake up and smell the java, man. You are on a beach. That means that under the water there is sand. Intelligent people don't just dive head-long into sand - it's dangerous. They test the depth of the water before diving in.

    But no, apparently, this guy thinks that the flags were a guarantee of safety and anything that happens to him is someone else's fault, and they (or in this case society in the form of the local council) must pay.

    Unfortunately the council is likely to raise rates (ie taxes) to pay this person. So people who own houses in the suburb must pay for this person's stupidity.

    » Australia's International Obligations   2002-05-16 00:00 Strawman
    Fortress or Mattress?

    We have to address a more fundamental question than 'what about asylum seekers', namely 'what are our obligations to people in other countries?'

    If we believe that all people have equal rights to come to Australia, then we are in favor of an open door policy, and few Australians will agree with us. Otherwise we believe in limiting entry to Australia.

    If we believe that there are people who can immigrate to Australia in a mutually consensual way, AND benefit themselves AND Australians then lets invite those people. If we are going to do this then I suggest we focus on who would be most beneficial for us.

    Otherwise we are giving welfare to foreigners.

    Lets ask why we give welfare to foreigners.

    If it is because we feel that property is theft, and we feel bad about being comparatively rich, and want to allay our consciences by giving money to some cause with the word 'suffering' in the title, then fine, lets say so. But if this is the case we may as well just give all the guilt money to a random refugee and save ourselves the administrative overhead of trying to make the system look 'fair'.

    If we wish to actually help people by giving money and maximize the total utility from it, then fine, lets say so. In this case we want the most people to get the most benefit from the money. There are refugees in the world in genuine risk and who are genuinely suffering. Bringing 12000 people per year to a first world country, and giving them $20,000pa in money and subsidies is expensive. The same money could be used to significantly help far more than 12000 people near their country of origin.

    Simply giving $20,000/pa in money and subsidies to people who can afford to break our laws by employing a peoplesmuggler is one way of helping people. But it is one of the worst ways there is.

    » Baise-Moi - the Real Victims Are the Public   2002-05-14 00:00 Strawman
    More Trendy Eurotrash

    SMH-2002-05-14 reports:

    >> "We don't want to go back to the bad old days when books were taken out of
    >> book shops as they were in Victoria in the early 60s or when stage shows
    >> were closed down, as they were in Sydney under the Askin government," Bob Carr
    >> told reporters.
    

    Once again we have a decision which attempts to dictate morality, to dictate what people see, and by implication what people think. Have we learned nothing from the discrediting of the totalitarian policies of socialism, communism, Nazism, McCarthyism, and the religious control?

    When will governments stop trying to be the moral guardians of the public? When will they understand that it is not their role to dictate the morality, or thoughts of the public, that they are simply there to stop people initiating force against others?

    The answer is quite simple. They will realize this when we, the people, do. This is a democracy. We get the government we voted for. We get the government we deserve. Unfortunately when we vote we are obsessed with maximizing our own rights, and we forget about those of the people around us, and our choices and freedoms are whittled away.

    Most of us don't want to see Eurotrash films like Baise-Moi, so we ignore the fact that other's right to see it has been taken away.

    Many of us don't want to take drugs, so we ignore the fact that other's right to take them has been taken away.

    Most of us will never own our own business, so we ignore the fact that the rights of employers to freedom-of-association have been taken away.

    Most of us will never own an historic building, so we ignore the fact that the rights of ownership of the people are taken away in the name of 'cultural heritage'.

    Most of us will never own a television station, so we ignore the fact that the rights to transmit whatever they want (as long as they pay for the bandwidth) are taken away.

    Most of us will never be major shareholders in McDonalds, so we ignore the fact that ridiculous compensation to a woman for spilling coffee on her lap takes their rights away.

    We have ourselves to blame for this because in our selfishness we have forgotten the fundamental rule:

    It's your life. Do whatever you like except hurting someone or taking their stuff.

    Society is not to blame. We are.

    » Reject Refugees Humiliated   2002-05-13 00:00 Strawman
    Stage Dive!

    The DAILY TELEGRAPH 2002-05-13 Reports:

     The first group of Afghan boat people, stranded in Indonesia for up to
    two years when Australia denied them entry as refugees, returned home yesterday
    with many swearing undying hatred of Australia.

    The 36 refugees, the latest of about 500,000 Afghans returning home from all over the world, sang Indonesia's praises for their hospitality but denounced Australia as uncaring and a nation that abused human rights and humiliated asylum-seekers.

    Sounds like those asylum seekers had a lucky escape! If they had made it to Australia they would have been forced to live amongst the very people who were uncaring and abused human rights - people, who in their own words they 'hated'.

    It's funny that, even though they claim to be genuine refugees (and therefore face persecution on their return home), they are choosing to return to Afghanistan rather than trying to stay in other Muslim 'hospitable' countries such as Indonesia.

    Given a choice between living with people they hate, living with people who are 'hospitable', they choose to try to live amongst those they hate.

    Given a choice of living with those who are 'hospitable' and going home to face persecution, they choose to go home to face persecution.

    Funny people these Afghans.

    I guess now they can GO HOME AND TELL A FRIEND:  NO VISA! 

    » George Asks Koffe's Advice   2002-05-04 00:00 Strawman
    It goes where?

    Dear Koffe,

    Thanks for all your help and encouragement since last September when someone broke in and trashed our place!

    We were pretty cut - especially when we found out that it was Osama! We went around to sort the situation out, but we found out that Osama is a guest in Omar's house. We demanded to see Osama, but Omar refused. We knew that it was not actually Omar's house anyway, because it was stolen, and the rightful occupants were being horribly abused.

    So we got together with old Tony, little Gilles and even little Johnny came along to provide encouragement. Together we kicked the living daylights out of Osama (though he is a slippery character), and forced Omar out (as best they could anyway). It was a good opportunity to practice some of those new Kung Fu moves. Then we gave house back to its rightful owners (as best we could anyway, because the situation was a bit confused).

    We're getting really sick of people stealing houses. The whole street's looking like a slum. So now we're looking around at other people who have stolen their houses.

    Big Zemin is a bit of an pain but none of us want to pick a fight with him, and he keeps pretty much to himself - except that when my kid's toy airplane flew into his back yard by accident he did make a bit of fuss. He didn't have to cut it up before throwing it back over the fence.

    We are also concerned about Kim, Ali and Saddam.

    Saddam has been a really big pain in the ass. He's been building stink bombs in his back yard again, too. We tried to sort the situation out a few years back, but he just ran back into his house and poked his tongue out at us from the window. We didn't want to go inside, so we just broke some of his toys, and told him not to throw things in his neighbor's yard.

    Unfortunately that whole area of the street is a mess at the moment. Yasser and Ariel can't agree on where to build their adjoining back fence, and they have been kicking dirt in each other's faces. To top it all off Ariel has been building sand castles in Yasser's back yard, and Yasser is getting really pissed.

    We'd rather not go in there until things calm down a bit.

    Everyone is behaving like children! Can you offer us any advice?

    Sincerely,

    George.

    PS: We still owe you for the jam and tarts from the last barbecue. We'll settle up real soon.

    » The Curtin Comes Up On Detainees   2002-04-22 00:00 Strawman
    That was some party!

    Some of Australia's less welcome guests threw a party in Curtin detention center. SMH-2002-04-22 reports that knives and meat-cleavers were used as part of the festivities. "Well it gets boring in here with nothing to do" complained one of the inmates. "And we only lit the fire because it was cold". "We thought we would show these cynical Australians how we can kick up our heels and have a good time - just like we do at home".

    The refugee action groups were confident that once Australians realized that people from the Middle East were just like Australians that they would agree to open Australia's borders.

    "We have a lot to offer Australia" one said "Australia could be like bonfire night every night of the year".

    Immigration authorities admitted that the situation was a stand-off. "We're not coming to the party unless we are invited!" they insisted. "It looks like a lot of fun, We don't believe in gate-crashing where we are not wanted".

    Local Aboriginal groups refused to comment.

    » Russians Object to Having Detention Center Near Their Spaceport   2002-04-16 00:00 Strawman
    A new form of illegal re-entry?

    SMH-2001-04-16 reports that the Russian space port planned for Christmas Island is in jeopardy since Australia announced plans to build a permanent detention center on the island. Apparently the Russians are concerned about their security implications of being close to a the detention center.

    Clearly, releasing the Asylum Seekers into the Australian community is the preferred safer option for the Russians. They would feel safer if they were separated from the Asylum seekers by 1000 miles of ocean.

    Funny thing is - most Australians feel the same way!

    » Don't be Caught Dead With Infidels   2002-04-16 00:00 Strawman
    You can choose your friends, but..

    Multiculturalism is not yet a dead issue.

    Not content to battle over turf in the Middle East, local Muslims say they are being pushed out of the Sydney Rookwood cemetary by Jews and Christians.

    SMH-2001-04-16 reports that the Muslim section of the cemetary is nearly full, and no advance bookings are being accepted. The Jewish section on the other hand has 15 years capacity, and neither side is volunteering to mix the graves together.

    The secretary of the Muslim Cemetery Trust, Wasim Raza, is quoted as saying

    "The point is that like many peoples of faith, Muslims would like to be buried in a dedicated area, not all over the place amongst people of different faiths."

    Apparently the muslim community's commitment to multiculturalism doesn't extend to being buried alongside the infidels, and cremation is specifically banned by the Koran. Maybe Allah makes an exception if you are flying a 767, or wearing a TNT suit in an Israeli cafe.

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